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Most Funny Life Quotes and Sayings

funny inspirational life quotes

Most Funny Life Quotes and Saying

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.” – Fred Allen

“Life isn’t measured by the number of breaths you take, but by the number of moments that take your breath away.” – Anonymous

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” – Rita Rudner

“Whether it’s the best of times or the worst of times, it’s the only time we’ve got.” – Art Buchwald

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.” – George Carlin

funny life quotes

Most Funny Life Quotes and Saying

“If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” – Albert Einstein

“Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.” – Ellen DeGeneres

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite

“A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.” – Winston S Churchill

“If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?” – Jerry Seinfeld

funny quotes about life in general

Most Funny Life Quotes and Saying

“Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” – Charles M. Schulz

“If you’re too open-minded; your brains will fall out.” – Lawrence Ferlinghetti

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.” – Rodney Dangerfield

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” – Will Rogers

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carey

funny quotes about life lessons

Most Funny Life Quotes and Saying

“Do not take life too seriously, you will never get out of it alive.” – Elbert Hubbard

“Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” – Simpsons

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.” – Jarod Kintz

“Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.” – Laurell K. Hamilton

“A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.” – Oliver Herford

funny quotes about life

Most Funny Life Quotes and Saying

“Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.” – Anonymous

“I can resist everything exept temptation.” – Oscar Wilde

“I love deadlines, I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.” – Douglas Adams

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.” – Winston S Churchill

“If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z – keeping your mouth shut”. – Albert Einstein

most funny quotes about life

Most Funny Life Quotes and Saying

“Life is pain. Anyone who says otherwise is selling something.” – William Goldman

“Ugly truths are the biggest source of indigestion in humans.” – Raheel Farooq

“You come into the world with nothing, and the purpose of your life is to make something out of nothing.” – Henry Louis Mencken

“Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you’ll be a mile from them, and you’ll have their shoes.” – Jack Handey

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